Get A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation PDF

By Daniel Menaker

An outstanding speak is an research of and advisor to that the majority solely human of all activities-- dialog.

Drawing on over 40 years of expertise in American letters, Menaker pinpoints the standards that force and liven up each stable dialog: the vagaries (and joys) of subtext; the deeper constitution and which means of conversational movement; the subliminal indications that advisor our disclosures and confessions; and the numerous different hurdles we needs to transparent alongside the best way. relocating past self-help musings and "how to" suggestion, he has created a classy, humorous, and incredible e-book: a party of "the so much excusively human of all activities."

In a time while dialog continues to be deeply important-- for construction relationships, for enjoyable, even for knowing who we are-- and likewise more and more imperiled (with Blackberries and texting more and more in vogue), a very good speak is a clean party of the delicate adventures of an outstanding dialog.

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Extra resources for A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation

Example text

I control my own feelings. I can create an effective presentation. I will choose an appropriate response. I choose. I prefer. I will. That language comes from a basic paradigm of determinism. And the whole spirit of it is the transfer of responsibility. I am not responsible, not able to choose my response. One time a student asked me, "Will you excuse me from class? " I asked. "I really have to," he exclaimed. " "In other words, you choose to go because you want the consequence of staying on the team.

The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct it, and learn from it. This literally turns a failure into a success. "Success," said IBM founder T. J. " But not to acknowledge a mistake, not to correct it and learn from it, is a mistake of a different order. It usually puts a person on a self-deceiving, self-justifying path, often involving rationalization (rational lies) to self and to others. This second mistake, this cover-up, empowers the first, giving it disproportionate importance, and causes far deeper injury to self.

This is also why we can make and break our habits. We are not our feelings. We are not our moods. We are not even our thoughts. The very fact that we can think about these things separates us from them and from the animal world. Self-awareness enables us to stand apart and examine even the way we "see" ourselves -- our paradigm, the most fundamental paradigm of effectiveness. It affects not only our attitudes and behaviors, but also how we see other people. It becomes our map of the basic nature of mankind.

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